i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
