it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
