If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
