She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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