I am in a vortex of obligation.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
