Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
