This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
