i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
