So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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