the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
