okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Enjoy the penises
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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