youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
