She said her name was "party"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
