The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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