I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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