It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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