the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
