If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
