cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
