I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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