I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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