Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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