Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
