I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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