She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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