White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My vagina just recognized that song.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
