If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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