so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
