My nipple is on Facebook.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
