Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's shark week go big or go home
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
