your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
