Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
