I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
