I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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