he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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