New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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