your room smells of hookers.
And success
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
