Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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