i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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