Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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