He kissed a someone with a penis
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
pop tarts are not kleenex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
