dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
