Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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