i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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