Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
