so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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