please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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