I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
