Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
