So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
