There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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