I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
