You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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