Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
