you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
