I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
