when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize