There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
