I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
