I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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