Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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