dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
