Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Do vagina's smell?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
