5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
