This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
