you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
