dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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