If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its about making memories worth repressing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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