You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
