i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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