is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
