So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
