i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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