Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
