I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
